My New Curriculum (Spoof from SAHP THREAD)

This was posted as a spoof after the unappreciated SAHP Thread! SUPER FUNNY!


My new curriculum for the new term:

Reading/language arts = reading the newspapers and magazines to me so I don't have to turn the pages myself whilst nailpolish is drying

Domestic Science/lifeskills = cooking all meals, doing all laundry, doing all hoovering, doing all floor scrubbing (mustn't chip my nails)

Horticulture - all yard work and gardening (can't risk getting my silk designerwear muddy)

Maths = all the shopping and household budgeting

socialising = chatting to the people in the take-away when no one is willing to cook and answering the door to any callers.

Biology = analyzing the mould on the piles of washing up and laundry that's been hanging around because it interferes with my karma to do it

History = watching old black and white movies on the TV with me

Geography = using google map and mapquest to work out the best route to go pick up all the stuff they've begged off freecycle

Handicrafts = making clothes from curtains and sackcloth

Technology = programming the dvd recorder for me so I don't miss any soaps during my afternoon nap and massage therapy sessions.

Child Psychology = looking after the toddler whilst I meditate for three hours.

Zoology = looking after all the animals so I don't have to and have more time for my vital reading session (Avalon romances of course)

Physical Exercise = running up and down the stairs, back and forth from room to room and to and from the shops fetching and carrying everything I need.

Music = putting my records and CD's on for me.

There. Don't think I've missed anything. So what do you think? Will that give me enough 'me' time??? :) :) :) written by melissalumley@yahoo.co.uk