Don't Do Drugs Stay Out Of School - Book Review

Don’t Do Drugs Stay Out Of School challenges parents everywhere to rethink the necessity of conventional schooling. Probing questions explore the concepts of learning and childhood development and offer the suggestion that perhaps a life without school is healthier for children and thus for the world. Is learning the real purpose of school? Does school offer true educational value? Is there a better way? How can children learn and grow without school in their lives? How has the school culture affected society in the last hundred years? - description from UnpluggedMom.com

In Don't Do Drugs Stay Out of School the reader is taken on a journey through recent history as Laurette Lynn points out the undeniable correlation between our societal decline in educational acheivements, health, family connection and personal drive and the evolution of compulsory schooling. Laurette has taken some of the most common points, that are often presented in a disunited manner, and concisely connects the dots to allow the reader a chance to step back and see the real picture - SCHOOL IS NO PLACE FOR CHILDREN!!! 


Unlike others that have come before her, Laurette also gives a clear outline to the educational solution which emphasizes learning independently, as well as through cooperative community based learning programs and apprenticeships. These keys are currently working throughout the nation for freely educated children everywhere. 


As always Laurette does not tell you what to think, but presents you with a number of scenarios and facts, daring you to look deeper for yourself and your children! Anyone who reads this book and still thinks school is the "right place" for children should NOT have them! BRAVA Laurette!!! I can't imagine anyone laying things out any clearer! 

Finding the Key to Fit the Lock

It has been a bit quiet around here lately as I have been busy preparing to enter deschool mode for the second time, but this time it is with DN, as last week was his last attending public school. He is 15 and in the 10th grade so this situation will be quite different from KM's as he is older and not here full time, but we are hopeful that this will be the direction that leads him to where he needs to be.

When I received the call a few weeks ago requesting that I help file the paperwork for his ed plan, I jumped on it and had it written and ready to be delivered within an hour - I was not letting anyone change their mind! Since then we have been discussing what he wants to learn and where he would like to see himself in the future. We have devised a plan and are finding ways to implement it that will work for him and our unique situation.

When I was deschooling with KM I realized that her retention of facts and information from school was similar to Swiss cheese, with lots and lots of holes, however DN's seems to be just the opposite random bits with little connection between them, so my hope is to string those bits together with meaningful connections. I am looking at like there are all these keys and I just need to find the one that will unlock his mind and engage him. I know I may have to try every last one before I find the one that works, but there has to be one!

As they are only a year apart I had hoped to combine some of KM's and DN's subjects - at the very least science and history, however he has a hard time retaining nearly anything - even simple story lines from his favorite book series - so I am going to have to go down an alternative route for subjects like History, which he claims to detest and with very little knowledge base there is no way that he can keep up with KM in science, but they can do their labs together which was one of our beginning areas this week. They will also be doing Logic & Geography together and will be following similar time lines in history in order to watch movies together.

I helped him set up an account for Khan Academy and he has been blowing through that the past few days, I hope that his enthusiasm holds once he gets to the more challenging areas. He was taking Spanish last year in school and really liked it so he is going to try the Spanish Conversation Demystified  that I had gotten for KM before she decided on French and will supplement using the Mango online through our library network.  So far that is our plan - go with what he is interested in and work from there! I really hope that he is able to embrace this lifestyle and truly learn.

So as I take this journey on again, I realize that I am in a COMPLETELY different place than I was when I did this the first time through with KM. I am going to use all the wisdom and experience that I have accrued over these last four years to help this young man discover how incredible learning really can be! I apologize if it seems as though I am neglecting my blog, but I must focus on other areas at the moment, but will be sure to check back in often with updates on how things are going. WISH US LUCK!!!!

What outcome are you looking for?

I have been speaking to a lot of people recently about the direction that their children's educational paths have been taking. To me, this is an incredibly individualized endeavor that needs to be worked and tweaked to fit each family child. It should be something that is allowed to flow like a river and the child should have the freedom to meander through the twists and turns of life.

One thing that is often forgotten about when one begins down this uncharted path is to really think about what outcome they desire at the end of the journey. This might be something that is really overwhelming for a parent of a four year old to think about - where do I want my child to be in 14 years? - but it really is necessary. I don't mean that you need to pick your child's career or the type of haircut they are going to have. I mean think about the type of person you would like them to be and what attributes you feel are really important for them to be "successful" adults.

I, for one, wish more than anything that I had made the decision to homeschool my daughter when she was younger, however I was at least lucky enough to come to this conclusion before irrevocable damage was done. At 10 my daughter was taken out of 5th grade mid-year and we began our journey. I still had a good amount of time to fix many of the problems that the public school had caused. It has been very interesting since then, we have been on this journey and have taken paths that we never imagined were there.

We started out very much in a "school at home" state, but have evolved over the last 3 years and have moved farther and farther away from the institutionalized mind set. We have moved more towards a system of learning that fits our family. We are fairly happy people around here, but lately we have been evolving again and taking a look at what else we need to change in order to let in more light, love and happiness into our days.

We are taking a few weeks off -from EVERYTHING- in order to really work on ourselves. We will be doing some self-reflection, meditation, yoga and reconnecting with each other. Our lives have gotten so busy and hectic over the last few months and I really feel like we may have wandered a bit farther off our path than I am comfortable with. We are going to focus on what values are truly important to us and what things CJ and I feel are extremely important to convey to our children.

As we take this time to figure out what we want for our future, let us know what types of hopes, wishes and dreams you have for your families!

QOTW: Your Decision to Homeschool

On one of my many yahoo group list subscriptions, a homeschooling mom posts a Question of the Week. Sometimes I respond and sometimes I just giggle at the incoming rhetoric that follows. This week however I couldn't keep my fingers from typing and instead of posting a HUGE response to the list, I sent a shortened version and pasted the rest here!


The QOTW was: What did people first think when you told them your decision to home school?


Here is my response -

I was EXTREMELY fortunate to have a super supportive family, right from the get go! Quite a few of them actually said things like, "What took you so long?" and "I had a feeling this was coming."

Now you might think that is because we have other homeschoolers in our family, but we don't. I didn't even know any homeschoolers and had a hard time at first finding local homeschoolers when I pulled my daughter out of PS - mid 5th grade year. I knew it was the right decision though and my family respects and trusts me enough to know that I know best for my daughter. Since then they have seen that my daughter has changed in incredible ways and hear from her all the wonderful things that she gets do because she is homeschooled.

I did have one sister that said "Are you sure this is the best thing to do?" and still continues to ask me things like "So is she going back to school next year?" but truly 1 out of 7 siblings really isn't that bad.

As far as my friends - especially those that I had made through working and volunteering in the school system - had mixed reactions. Most of them were quietly supportive, NO ONE said that I shouldn't do it. Even her teacher at the time said that she thought it would be a great fit for my daughter.

Some of them, you could tell, were hesitant to say much because I was flat out going against what they were doing, but I tried to stand my ground as PS not being a good fit for MY daughter. I tried to not BASH the system in front of her friends and mine. Once in a while something would slip out, generally the parents would agree with what I was saying and then I would get the onslaught of "I could never be with my child that much," " I don't know how you do it," "I don't have the patience," etc, etc, etc...I am sure you have heard the mantras of the masses.

But as with any other change in lifestyle ~ moving, a new job, having kids, getting a new hobby, ~ your friends change and those that stick by are the ones that you know are the true friends, not just passing acquaintances.

I have also come to find, through this crazy journey, that I have found MORE true friends, that have the same principle values as I do. They cherish their families above all else, enjoy their children, love learning, respect their children, think of how things effect others, and appreciate the little things. Not to say that all homeschoolers are saints, by ANY MEANS, but I don't find myself hesitating to express my opinion as much because I know that it will be respected and not crushed if it is different from others.

For those that get the "You're crazy," "That is the wrong thing to do," "How are you going to homeschool?" responses from people, STAND YOUR GROUND! Only you truly know what is best for your child(ren). Hopefully time will prove them wrong and they will get to see how right you were!

Homeschooling is not for everyone, but for those that take this path it is truly an adventure like no other! Here are some great articles that might help you with responses to some of those kooky questions we all get -

• The Bitter Homeschoolers' Wish List
  
• Extremely Annoying Homeschool Questions
• Annoying Questions People Ask Homeschoolers
• And what about the prom?
• The Most Obnoxious Homeschool Questions
  

What to do, what to do?

I think as we move forward in our homeschooling journey, we have begun to discover more and more how much learning takes place outside of the daily "school hours" of 8 to 3. However as I am looking ahead I have been struggling with the combination of what to sign KM up for and what to pass on and hope to do next year. I think that it can be VERY enticing to sign up for great classes that are being offered during the day that are geared to Homeschoolers and also to feel very thankful that these classes are available, but at the same time it can be good to step back and think about what our priorities are for our children and how we can best accomplish our learning goals.

I have made a commitment to work on our local coop program and I really feel like this is something that I need to stick to for the coming year. I have also been looking at one or two other things that I would like KM to participate in, but I need her to make the decision and the commitment for herself. She also needs to understand that some things may have to be sacrificed for others to happen. I think she is old enough to make the decision of where her priorities need to fall. She needs to understand that the commitment has to come from her and she must do the work in order for it to be a successful and worthwhile endeavor.

We had a very long discussion about what she wants to accomplish and what her goals are going to be for the coming year and I think that she really is starting to understand that her education is based on what she wants to make of it. We have both come to realize that in order for something to be truly learned, it needs to be much more ingrained into your being - to have content and connection to the things around you, rather than just random facts memorized in order to fill in the correct bubbles.

As we get farther and farther away from our old ways of thinking and that tape that constantly plays inside my head seems to get quieter and quieter - she seems to be learning more and MORE. Of course not just learning it for the moment, but really retaining and recalling the information in situations that relate to it. The transformation has been so amazing to me!

Over this summer we will be working on a more independent study approach to things. I will not be reading right along with her or standing over her shoulder until it is done. I need to know that I can give her an assignment and she will complete it. If this can be done, then I am more than willing to allow her to commit herself to more classes and outside activities in the fall. If not than we really will need to look at what sacrifices she is willing to make in order to obtain the goals that she has set for herself...not sure how this one will turn out, but I am truly keeping my fingers crossed for it!

My abbreviations - 1-12-08

So I was sitting here thinking how much quicker my entries could be if I had a standard list of abbreviations I could use for my blog. I think I will add to it as I go that way I can come up with them as needed....it may also give some insight to me if I have to try to define situations in my life in terms others understand.
KM - my wonderful 10 yr. old daughter
CJ - the other half of me, for whom my life would not be quite so pleasant. (yes that was kinda sickening.)
DD- my biomom (i am an adult adoptee very happily reconnected since 1997)
JP- my biodad
LP- my biodad's wife (one of the most amazing, caring, generous, understanding women that i know)
HS- homeschool
Noni - my earth angel gone back to heaven (my adoptive mom who passed away in 2006)
SC - my wonderful new light (my niece from my adoptive sister)
SR - my sister from DD's side (loves to tell everyone that she is 2 yrs. younger than KM)
PR - my brother from DD's side (only 2 yrs. older than KM)
DP - my youngest brother on JP's side (also 2 yrs. younger than KM doesn't think it is as cool to have a niece older than him as SR does)

A sense of calm! 1-11-08

So it is a rather dreary morning here, as it is raining and twenty degrees colder than it was yesterday (that's New England for ya!!!) Normally I would already have had two fights with my daughter over what she wears based on the temperature change, one on her taking her medicine and one on the fact that we were running FIVE WHOLE MINUTES LATE!
~~~~However the scene right now at my house is this...I am sitting in my pajamas with a cup of coffee at the computer (obviously) and sitting across from me is my wonderful daughter, in her big fluffy polka dot bathrobe, eating her cereal and working on a puzzle magazine. ~~~~
I really think that the biggest changes I am seeing in our family is that we are running on our own clocks (for the most part) and with our bodies own rythmes. My daughter's whole attitude has changed over the last few weeks. Normally if I were to say that it would be in a negative way, but not this time. There hasn't been very much pouting, no whining, way less argumentativeness (if that is a word?), way more willingness to do chores around the house (sometimes on her own accord even!) and a general sense of happiness and calmness.
Now I am seriously hoping that I have not jinxed myself by actually sending out into the universe our new found sense of calmness, but I just wanted to share because I am really suprised at how quickly things have changed.
Hope everyone has at least a little sense of calm today in their own lives as well!