14 ---- TODAY!!!

Happy Birthday KM!!!

Every year I am more and more grateful for the incredible relationship that we have and I truly believe that if we didn't home educate, it would be a completely different dynamic! 

 We had her birthday party on Saturday. It was small, but they had a great time!

4th Annual NOT Back to school Day

I tried and tried again to plan a Not Back to School Celebration for our local home ed community, but the weather would just not cooperate! So KM and I decided to go back to our roots and do what we usually do for NOT back to school - breakfast, library and whatever we please!

After the third round of buses rolled by the house this morning, I decided to wake up K, so we could head out to breakfast with CJ. While we waited for our food we played hockey with the twisted straw wrappers and the plastic ad holder.

 Then we headed to the library and and came out with a bagful of books!

 KM spent some time chatting and playing on line with some friends and then

 we decided to bust out the hair dye!!!

While it processed we watched Cyberbully - a MUST see for all teens and parents - on the new monitor! 

It is rather difficult to get the colors to show while it is still damp, I will have to try for a better shot. There are two shades of green - a torquois and a GREEN and purple which is more easily seen! 

What did you do on your NOT back to school day?

NOT Back to School Planning

I was in a big buy store today picking up pet food and some other things and I was so disturbed by the parents shouting at children, juggling school supplies and seeing the children agonizing over the choices that the parents were presenting to them, that it seriously turned my stomach into knots. Each year with all the craziness going on as mainstream schools are starting back up  I appreciate more and MORE that we are NOT going back to school!

In fact we are planning an incredible NOT Back to School Beach Day for area home learning families to meet up with us to celebrate the day that our local school will be back in session! This is the first beach day we have done for this, but in the past we have celebrated with things like a Park Day, Bowling Party, and Family Hikes. This is a great way to get new home ed families together with veterans and to meet back up with friends who may have been busy over the summer! If you don't have a large home ed community around you, you can also have your own "Not Back to School Day" by enjoying things that you have been avoiding all summer, here are some posts of how we have celebrated in the past.

Does your family do anything fun to celebrate NOT going back to school?

YouTube Monday - How Do You Socialize Your Children?

I have posted this before, but stumbled across it again and thought it was You Tube Monday Worthy!!!
Look past the religious content and it is seriously funny! 

Finishing up Spring Session

Although this week is our last for lessons in our spring session, KM has had a pretty light month as she finished up most of her programs - formal math, science, house building elective, environmental issues elective, etc. - in April. She will have Story of the World Volume 4 completed by the end of the week and this will give us a full month free from "book work" before we begin our summer session the first week of July. KM does have some programs finishing up during June, -  she will have her performance of Much Ado About Nothing in just under two weeks and has two more sailing classes -  but after that the last three weeks of June are WIDE OPEN!!!

I have been writing more and doing reviews for UnpluggedMom.com, so if it is quiet around here for a bit, you should totally check out all that is going on over there!!!

Some thoughts on Summer

It feels like summer these last few days, but I can't wait for the real thing, the lazy, lounging days of summer that come once "school" is out. Not our learning path - we home educate year round - but when the schooled kids get out for summer vacation almost all organized home learning events, from co-ops to park days, seem to come to a screeching halt, as we begin to wait for "them" to head back into the schools and leave the playgrounds, beaches, libraries and museums to us again in September.

WHY is this? Well I can't speak for all home learners, but for us it is an aversion to crowds, rowdy ill managed groups of people, broken and mistreated exhibits, parents yelling and threatening their children, and a general discontentment from all forms of staff at said outings - from volunteer exhibit workers to life guards to cranky ice cream scoopers.

It seems as though school gets out and EVERYONE GOES CRAZY!!! Generally the first few weeks are okay, but by the time Independence Day rolls around, they have had enough. I honestly think that the stores are do these parents a favor by having their back to school sales begin so early - IT GIVES THEM A GLIMPSE OF HOPE!

I didn't understand it when I was sending her back - every year my heart would break. Now that I don't it is even harder for me to fathom why people would have children and then long to be away from them for such extended periods of time, they miss so much of their day to day life that they hardly know their children. They get two or three standard answers to their questions with little to no insight into their actual events.

I not only love my daughter, I LIKE my daughter. I enjoy being with her. I am thrilled to experience new things with her. I have fun playing with her - that's right I PLAY with my teenager and not just video games. I know and like her friends. I am very happy to say that none of us would want it any other way. Cheers to a relaxing and peaceful summer! 

Perfect Day...

for history on the chaise - 

and exploring a river with friends - 

Finally the weather has broken!!! It was sunny and in the 70s!!!  What a beautiful day! 

Race to Nowhere - Movie Review

I was able to attend a viewing of this film last week. I am not really sure if I feel fortunate to have been able to or not as I felt sick to my stomach as I was watching this movie. It was seriously disturbing to me.

 

I was with two other home ed moms - more on the unschooling side than me and with much younger children- and before the movie started we were given an article - http://www.chicagoparent.com/community/the-self-aware-parent/2011/march/let's-be-clear---what-do-we-really-want-for-our-children and as we read through it one of the mom's said to me "Are there people who really think this way? I guess I just don't encounter them." I assured here that there were.

 

The movie goes into detail about the stress that is put on children and the extremes that these children and parents are willing to go through in order to get into colleges, pass the tests and get good grades. Two of the director's own children were getting physically ill - headaches, stomach aches, insomnia - over the amount of homework and pressure that was put on them. She choose to take one of her daughter's - the one who had the most severe issues - out of the school that she was in and send her to another school. The girl stated that at first she was excited about a new school and thought that things were going to be better, but after the first week, she came to realize "it was still school". This to me was the point in the movie where I was just astonished and KEPT WAITING for someone to say they were home educating.

 

The closest case of home education was a mom who allowed her son to go to an alternative school that vaguely sounded like an umbrella school where the student had to meet with the teacher once a week, but other than that the parents just kept sending their kids to schools. The director did state that she was trying to advocate for "no homework" and they even mentioned that they got one of the schools to do "No Homework Nights", but that was it. I just don't understand it, how on earth could you continue to send your child anywhere that was making them SICK!

 

There were a few parents who had decided to not push the "college track" so strongly with there kids after they had had to send them to "stress centers" and dealt with numerous stress related disorders - anorexia, cutting, depression, etc - , but still not one of them thought why are we sending them back at all?

 

There was even a family that had a daughter who commited suicide over her math grades - I am not exaggerating, that was the reason the mom gave - and she still sends her son to school. She did say that she doesn't focus so much on his grades or his schoolwork and talks to him more about what is going on and how he is feeling, but she still sends him to school.

 

We were sitting amongst about 30 other people and for the most part - we are fairly certain - they were all teachers. We felt that way because there were many remarks throughout the movie that they thought were quite funny that we thought were disturbing and we kinda giggled and looked at each other at points that they just didn't seem to get.

 

As with Waiting for Superman, they stated a lot of facts and statistics - 93% of high school students have cheated at least once, when teachers give less or no homework the students grades improve, etc. - that are seemingly meant to awaken those who are unaware, but there is still NO solutions. They make a list of suggestions - http://www.endtherace.org/what-individuals-can-do-today - but these just seem like bandaids when you think of the damage that is being done to these kids. 

 

If there is one question that all of the parents that participated in this film should be asked it is "WHY do you continue to SEND THEM BACK?" 

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution - ABC.com

I watched the first season and was astonished at what was going on in the schools, but this season I can't believe that they won't even let him in!!! This is disturbing to me. How on earth can this go on?

I took the pledge to spread the word! The health issues in this country due to the diet of our population is disgusting! The unknowing parents trusting in a system to provide what is best for their children is appalling. 

Things HAVE TO CHANGE!!! 

Schools saying NO BAGGED LUNCHES is for the betterment of the child, WHAT???? People need to be aware of what they are putting into their bodies. They need to know where it is coming from. They need to understand what it is being done to their children. You must break the cycle and rip the blinders off! Schools have taught all of us to NOT question, to FULLY TRUST them, and to BELIEVE they are doing what is BEST for us! IT IS ALL LIES!!! From the food they are putting in to the children to the ridiculous test taking skills they are teaching them. NONE of this is what is BEST for any child!

If you haven't watched yet you can see the full episodes on-line here - Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution - ABC.com  

Looking ahead to High School - Part 1

KM is finishing up the tail end of her 8th grade year and I have been thinking a lot about "high school" lately. So many families are putting such a huge emphasis on buckling down and hitting the books through these years, but I am just feeling that is not the route we want to take.

For those of you who know me, I am a researcher. Put a topic on the horizon and I am going to find out everything there is to know about it. I am going to dissect it and view it from every angle. That is just me and the high school topic is no different. I have spent hours upon hours listening to podcasts and webinars and reading book after book about how to homeschool through high school, but as with everything else in our life there is nothing that feels as though it is just going to FIT for us. I don't want to do "school" just because my daughter is at the age she would be entering "high school."

I want the upcoming years to be filled with the same type of delight driven learning and fun activities that they have been. I want to keep her engaged and interested in the topics that we cover and not just cover things because "that is what you do in high school." I want her to still have time to spend with friends, go to the movies, play piano, draw, play video games, and whatever else she wants to do and still learn in a way that she finds intriguing.

I have heard over and over again about all the things that kids NEED to get into a good college, well I am not 100% sure that she wants to go to college. I am not willing to force her into a box set of guidelines in hopes that she will get to where she needs to be, when she can just be now and we can work on a way to get her into college if that is what she wants to do when the time comes.

Another thing that we have been thinking about when it comes to high school and college is her age. When KM started kindergarten we lived in a district that had a cut-off date of Sept. 30th, but our current district's cut-off is Aug 31st, so according to our district she is ahead a year - in all actuality she is all over the place on several different levels, but I don't need to go into that right now. Anyway, when looking at it this way and taking her personality into account we have seriously been thinking about stretching her high school out over 5 years rather than 4. This would allow her to be an older 18 rather than a much younger 17 if she decides to attend college at that age. It would also allow a much more relaxed timeline and more time for her to discover and work on her own passions or to get a job if she wants without the added pressure of heavy academics.

When I mention to people I am thinking of going this route I am often confronted with some rather odd looks and astonished remarks of "what do you mean IF she goes to college?" So many other families with middle schoolers are buckling down and hitting the books as if that is the only option in life. There are so many career paths that do not begin with college, but begin with learning what you are interested in, what you are passionate about, what brings you happiness. I know far too many twenty-something graduates who are doing NOTHING that has to with what they went to school for. They are so far in debt and have no direction in their life because they were hustled through the system and led down the path without having any idea what THEY actually WANTED. They were just told go to college, get a degree and all will be well, but that is not quite so in our world today. More and more companies would rather employees have life experience than college degrees.

I also know many thirty-something career driven people who HATE their jobs. They have degrees and work in the fields that they went to college for, but they hate it! They go to work because they have become accustom to the life that their path has allowed them to have, but they are miserable. I would really like KM to be happy in whatever it is that she chooses to do. I would much rather that she learn about a wide variety of things as they come up in hopes that something will spark an interest enough that she may want to find a career in it, but I would also like her to know enough about other things that if she finds that she isn't happy in the choice that she made that she can switch things up and try something else.

Maybe I am being naive or too wishful, but I really think this is the route we are going to take - five years of relaxed delight directed academics.

I would love to hear others comments or thought on this, so please feel free to share. 

Stay Day System

I have been asked many questions about stay days since I posted our spring session plans, so while I was reseting our white board calendar for the month I thought I would take a few seconds to explain this simple process that we use.

I require that we stay home for three days each week, no ways around this. There are so many activities and things to do that if I don't we would be out every day, my house and work become neglected and KM becomes exhausted, cranky and CRASHES! So I took a tip from a fantastic homeschool guru and I created a Stay Day System of our own.

Here is what are calendar looks like at the beginning of the month. I list all the things that we already have scheduled or planned and then I choose 3 days a week that we stay home, I mean I don't leave the house. Each of the three days gets designated a number 1, 2, or 3 because different chores need to be completed on those days. The three days can fall in any combination during a 7 day period. I try to space them out if possible, but sometimes it just isn't. On these days KM can have people over once she has gotten her assigned chores done for that day, but I will not take her anywhere or pick anyone up as I need to be able to get my household chores and work completed. This system works so well and each time I have allowed us to slip out of it, it has backfired and the house and the families attitudes fall to pieces.

Now I was also asked what sorts of things get completed on these stay days and this is going to be something that if you decide to implement you would need to decide for yourself. For us the days look like this -

• Stay Day #1
• Weekly baking - deserts, breads etc.
• Meal Plans for the Week
• Bathrooms thoroughly cleaned
• Full Kitchen Clean Up
• Laundry - Linens
• Vacuuming
• Stay Day #2
• Project - art, household, yard ~depends on what is needed~
• Vacuuming
• Clean Bedrooms
• ALL trash barrels emptied
• Laundry - K
• Stay Day #3
• Laundry - M & D
• Vacuuming
• Floors
• Fully Clean Dining Room & TV Room

Having this routine and schedule allows us to not get overwhelmed with the household chores. We do pick up things as we go along and there are other daily things - compost, feeding animals, recycling bins, etc - that are done, but those things take little to no time and allow us to be able to the "Full Cleans" in a much quicker way because things aren't left to get out of hand. 

This also allows KM to quickly be able to answer her friends when asked to setup an activity. If the day is blank or only lists library or something then she knows she can go ahead and say yes, if there is a number in the block she knows that the friend can come here or if she can get a ride from someone else - even CJ - she can go, but that I can't take her. There are of course ALWAYS exceptions to these rules - like birthday parties etc. but in general we have those things on the schedule in advance and I work the stay days around them. 

As always this is something that needs to be tweaked for each family - it will not work the same for yours as it does for ours - but it is a great place to start from! It also gives the kids a sense of knowing what is coming and if they want to spend the day in their PJs they can because they know they aren't going anywhere! 

I hope that clears up the questions that I received! Please let me know if there are any others. 

Lemmings Law

I am finding it harder and harder to appease people. While I think that people should respect each other's choices, I know that is never going to happen 100% of the time. People assume that you are attacking their decisions - or really their conformity - if you make a choice other than the one that is in line with theirs. If you are making a choice that is better for YOUR family, why wouldn't you automatically assume that the decision would be better for EVERY family? It is the lemmings law - follow, follow, follow, don't get out of line - if someone else gets out of line ATTACK!!!



Those of us who tend to make choices that are off the trodden path are often far more understanding, open minded and accepting of choices. We see the great joy that options can bring. We realize the importance of indivual preferences. We accept that customization is KEY! We need to stop coddling these parents. I don't think the public schools are okay for anyone, they aren't! They can't be FIXED! Charter schools and privates are just as bad in most cases. We ALL need to learn to respectfully stand our ground and disregard the falsified counterattacks that are based on the insecurites of those shouting the loudest!

As I have seen these debates getting more and more ferocious with the ease of social networking sites in cyberspace, the anonymity of yahoo groups and the ability to hit send before you reread things or without thinking about the consequences. This is just another reason I DON'T have a facebook account!

 

 I reread this several times and STAND behind every word!

Too NICE to do ANYTHING but HIKE!

Work Harder to Get Smarter

I received a phone call today from a relative whose child is in 2nd grade at a local public school. She has become increasingly frustrated with the child's teacher and needed to vent to someone who might help her not feel so crazy.
In an email from the teacher she expressed concern for the aforementioned child, that he wasn't working to his potential and wasn't embracing the class motto of "Work Harder to Get Smarter."
I try very hard to not bad mouth the public education system, as I don't want to offend anyone who feels that they "can't" home educate their children for whatever the reason. However, I am getting to the point where I feel like I need to come out and say, "It is wrong! It is screwed up! It CAN'T be fixed!"
To drill into 7 year olds that learning is "hard work" is WRONG! It is wrong on some many levels!
For most people, if they are truly learning something it will come rather easily to them. Generally speaking you know the most about things that you like and that interest you. When you are forced to take tests on something that you don't like or aren't interested in then yes it does become work and you need to work harder to retain the information - this does NOT mean that you are SMARTER. It also does not mean that you "learned" anything. It means that you worked really hard to remember the information long enough to take the test and get a good score. Will you remember the information next year - probably not! You probably won't even be lucky enough to remember it next week.
When second graders are being forced into working harder so that they can make the grade and the teacher's get their raises, there IS a SERIOUS problem! The schools are producing incredibly gifted test takers who are taught to retain the information, take the test and then dump the files.

Learning should be fun! 

Learning should be enjoyable! 

Learning should be EASY! 

What outcome are you looking for?

I have been speaking to a lot of people recently about the direction that their children's educational paths have been taking. To me, this is an incredibly individualized endeavor that needs to be worked and tweaked to fit each family child. It should be something that is allowed to flow like a river and the child should have the freedom to meander through the twists and turns of life.

One thing that is often forgotten about when one begins down this uncharted path is to really think about what outcome they desire at the end of the journey. This might be something that is really overwhelming for a parent of a four year old to think about - where do I want my child to be in 14 years? - but it really is necessary. I don't mean that you need to pick your child's career or the type of haircut they are going to have. I mean think about the type of person you would like them to be and what attributes you feel are really important for them to be "successful" adults.

I, for one, wish more than anything that I had made the decision to homeschool my daughter when she was younger, however I was at least lucky enough to come to this conclusion before irrevocable damage was done. At 10 my daughter was taken out of 5th grade mid-year and we began our journey. I still had a good amount of time to fix many of the problems that the public school had caused. It has been very interesting since then, we have been on this journey and have taken paths that we never imagined were there.

We started out very much in a "school at home" state, but have evolved over the last 3 years and have moved farther and farther away from the institutionalized mind set. We have moved more towards a system of learning that fits our family. We are fairly happy people around here, but lately we have been evolving again and taking a look at what else we need to change in order to let in more light, love and happiness into our days.

We are taking a few weeks off -from EVERYTHING- in order to really work on ourselves. We will be doing some self-reflection, meditation, yoga and reconnecting with each other. Our lives have gotten so busy and hectic over the last few months and I really feel like we may have wandered a bit farther off our path than I am comfortable with. We are going to focus on what values are truly important to us and what things CJ and I feel are extremely important to convey to our children.

As we take this time to figure out what we want for our future, let us know what types of hopes, wishes and dreams you have for your families!

Sometimes you need to step away!

The other morning KM was busy getting some work done before a friend was coming over to go sledding. She had gone through most of it, but when she got to her Algebra she seemed to hit a wall. Math is generally one of her favorite subjects and she usually breezes right through it, but for some reason she just couldn't focus. She was making silly mistakes and really just needed to step away. So she finished up some vocabulary, had lunch and waited for her friend to arrive. After her visit, she went back to her Algebra book and finished it up in no time, with very little error. 

When you see your child is having trouble with something that normally comes easy to them, you need to think about the situation and the results you are trying to reach. If your child is not focused and in a learning mood, then really you are just wasting time. Sometimes you just need a break. Let the student walk away, take a break and return to later on

Regulation in Home Education

I had to share this incredible installment of the Unplugged Mom Radio show on Regulation in Home Education. CLICK HERE FOR THE 1/28 BROADCAST.

Here is an excerpt from my email that she speaks of during the show - 

I have been meaning to contact you about something I heard on one of the archive shows and I keep forgetting to do it, but after hearing about your speaker for next week, I wanted to be sure to get a question in ahead of time as I am not sure I can be up that early...we are just not morning people in the winter. 

So anyway, I was listening to the archives and I heard Desiree's comment about Massachusetts laws being so strict. As a board member of our state homeschooling organization I hear from people all the time who are concerned because they are moving here or are thinking about homeschooling here. We are constantly listed as a "very difficult state to homeschool in", so I am curious why people feel that our state is such a difficult one. I have heard from some that it is just the fact that we are an "approval" state, but the thing that a lot of people don't seem to realize is that though this is true, there are no "laws" or "homeschooling regulations" here. The guidelines that are followed are based on case laws and therefore are up for interpretation. I also think it has a lot to do with people's intimidation of authority figures and a lack of willingness to bump the system, even if only by standing up for their own rights. So my question for the constitutional expert would be "From a constitutional standpoint, why would Massachusetts be considered a strict homeschooling state?"

I was very impressed with this show and the connections that were made for me are profound! 

Opera Preview for Hansel and Gretel

We are going to be going to the Boston Lyric Opera's Hansel & Gretel performance in March, so Monday we went to an incredible preview performance. This is such a fantastic opportunity for the kids to get to see professional performers up close and personal. The kids had a great time and they had such fabulous questions for the performers. We can't wait to go to the show!

Winter is my favorite season!

I know that most people probably think that I am crazy! Who loves winter? It's cold, dark, boring, there is less to do, you are cooped up inside, blah, blah, blah....well I do!

I love looking out my window and seeing the earth covered in a blank of white. I love marveling at the beauty and strength of nature. I love cozying up in front of a fire. I love scarves, hats, and fuzzy mittens. I love staying in my PJs all day and listening to books on tape. I love the crisp frigid freshness in the air. I love to watch the dogs romp around and catch snowballs. I love the desolate quiet when the power goes out. I love to watch the joy on the face of a child as they go swooshing down the hill. I love that CJ gets to be home more. I love that we are able to spend more time together as a family.

As a home learning family we spend a good deal of time together, but it is different in the winter. During the other seasons we are out doing things, going places and being active. However for us winter is a time to come together with those that you love and enjoy each other's company in close quarters. It is a time to really embrace our family.

Another Busy Week Gone By

We got back to book work over this last week and all went well for the most part, although we have decided to do away with the Music Alive Classical Connections to U.S. History, as she thinks it is rather dry and I can't disagree with her on that one. Instead she will be using the Annenberg Media lectures Exploring the World of Music and selecting a composer, musician or group to do a biography on each month. I think this will be much more suited to her interests and style.

Other than that everything else went smoothly... Mon KM got the rest of her top wire on her braces attached and we got some shopping done. Tues KM went skating, visited with a good friend, and in the evening we went to see Gulliver's Travels - CJ even came along! Wed was ice skating again. Thur SC came to visit, as she wasn't feeling up to daycare that day and the afternoon was taken up by Theater. Fri we finished up the bookwork and KM got a LOT of reading done! Saturday KM had bowling, we had to pick up the truck from the shop, and DN got to visit AG's reptiles. Then Sunday was CJ's birthday party- He will be 36 on Wed!!!

As we come off of another super busy week it seems we are all paying for it -

• KM has a wretched cough and I am worried that her asthma might be rearing its' head again, so we will be off to the doctor's first thing in the morning
• CJ is stressed and exhausted from regular work slowing down, the weird hours plowing and the anxiety over his truck being fixed - which has went much better than we expected!
• I just can't get rid of this weird postnasal cough thing and I have begun having some sleep issues because of it.

I feel the need to remind myself that we do truly NEED more rest in the winter and that we NEED to recognize the body's signals to nature's cues. Here is a really good article on some reasons why we need more sleep in winter. So this week I am cutting back A TON and listening to our bodies. For real! I swear we are going to!!!

Here are some pics from the week -