My New Curriculum (Spoof from SAHP THREAD)

This was posted as a spoof after the unappreciated SAHP Thread! SUPER FUNNY!


My new curriculum for the new term:

Reading/language arts = reading the newspapers and magazines to me so I don't have to turn the pages myself whilst nailpolish is drying

Domestic Science/lifeskills = cooking all meals, doing all laundry, doing all hoovering, doing all floor scrubbing (mustn't chip my nails)

Horticulture - all yard work and gardening (can't risk getting my silk designerwear muddy)

Maths = all the shopping and household budgeting

socialising = chatting to the people in the take-away when no one is willing to cook and answering the door to any callers.

Biology = analyzing the mould on the piles of washing up and laundry that's been hanging around because it interferes with my karma to do it

History = watching old black and white movies on the TV with me

Geography = using google map and mapquest to work out the best route to go pick up all the stuff they've begged off freecycle

Handicrafts = making clothes from curtains and sackcloth

Technology = programming the dvd recorder for me so I don't miss any soaps during my afternoon nap and massage therapy sessions.

Child Psychology = looking after the toddler whilst I meditate for three hours.

Zoology = looking after all the animals so I don't have to and have more time for my vital reading session (Avalon romances of course)

Physical Exercise = running up and down the stairs, back and forth from room to room and to and from the shops fetching and carrying everything I need.

Music = putting my records and CD's on for me.

There. Don't think I've missed anything. So what do you think? Will that give me enough 'me' time??? :) :) :) written by melissalumley@yahoo.co.uk

Lack of Appreciation for SAHP!

So I got an email post from a yahoo group that I am a member of from a mother who was feeling very unappreciated by her family because she is a SAHM!

Situations like this make me SOOOOO annoyed Now! However, I must admit I totally took advantage of my mother when I was younger! Noni wasn't a SAHM, she was a divorcee mother of two, working 40-60 hours a week just to pay the bills, but she still somehow managed to get EVERYTHING in the house done. We had chores but it was very rare that we actually did them. If I left my room get messy long enough she would come in and clean it. If I didn't do my laundry some little elf came in made the clothes magically smell fresh and clean! I am not by any means of the imagination proud of what I did. If she asked me to do the dishes, I would do a horrible job on purpose because I was knew that she would be to tired to fight with me and wouldn't ask me to do them again. Now Noni and I used to get in fights all the time about it, but I took advantage of my mother feeling bad that she was working sooo much. Now I have people in my life who are in the same situation and it INFURIATES me!

I moved out of Noni's house with CJ about two months after I had KM and I went into shock. You mean I am suppose to do laundry, plan dinner, vacuum, fold the laundry, clean the bathroom, make dinner, put the laundry away, and clean up the kitchen after dinner all in the same day! WITH AN INFANT! Luckily I knew how to do those things as I know some young adults who don't even know how to run the washing machine (In case you haven't noticed I HATE LAUNDRY), but I was still in shock. I never realized the amount of energy that went into keeping a household together on a daily basis. I called my mother at the end of the first week on our own, in hysterical tears, to tell her how sorry I was.

Now that she is gone, I wish I had truly expressed to her how much I appreciated all that she sacrificed for us throughout her life. Two children, from different mothers, whom she could not have loved more. I don't know that I could ever be as strong as she was, having to put up with the things that we put her through. I don't just mean being unappreciative, we were HORRIBLE teenagers! Now she was not a perfect mother by any means, but who really is! Somehow though, she managed to look past everything we did and see nothing but the truly unconditional love that she had for us. I don't discuss it much, I think because I am afraid I will not stop crying, but I do miss her every day! Every single day that goes by something happens that I wish I could ask her advice about. I know that she is still here with us, I feel her here and I know that she knows I love her. I just wish I could hear her voice one more time.