So I have changed the blog theme about 80 times this week and I think this it the one I am sticking to!!! I really liked the one I had with the books across the top but it was an imported theme and was not working well with some of the blogspot functions that I really like! If you are looking for any links that were here and are missing please let me know and I will be sure to repost them. I tried to remember everything that was on there but as I said the other theme was not working right so in transition some of the links went missing and I couldn't for the life of me remember what they were.
So thanks in advance for any input, comments or reminders!
The trials and errors of a home educating family finding our own way and getting saner by the day!
Mar 16, 2008
Mar 14, 2008
Top 10 Replies to "What? No School Today?"
10. “Well normally yes, but this time of year I need help with the planting and plowing.”
9. “Goodness, no!!! I graduated 16 years ago, but thanks for the compliment!”
8. “No, we homeschool. We're just out to pick up a bag of pork rinds and some Mountain Dew, then we gotta hurry home to catch our soaps.”
7. “What?! Where did you guys come from?! I thought I told you to stay at school! I'm sorry. This happens all the time.” (sigh)
6. “There isn't? Why, you'd think we'd see more kids out then, don't you?”
5. “We're on a field trip studying human nature's intrusive and assumptive tactics of displaying ignorance and implied superiority. Thanks for the peek!”
4. “On our planet we have different methods of education. (Shhh! No, I didn't give it away... keep your antennae down!)”
3. “Oh my goodness! I thought today was Saturday! Come on kids, hurry!”
2. “Nope! Me 'n Bubba jes' learns 'em at home. Werks reel good!”
And the number 1 answer to the question: "What? No school today?"
1. "What? No Bingo today?"
Feel free to add your own responses to the comment section! Can't wait to see what you come up with!!!
9. “Goodness, no!!! I graduated 16 years ago, but thanks for the compliment!”
8. “No, we homeschool. We're just out to pick up a bag of pork rinds and some Mountain Dew, then we gotta hurry home to catch our soaps.”
7. “What?! Where did you guys come from?! I thought I told you to stay at school! I'm sorry. This happens all the time.” (sigh)
6. “There isn't? Why, you'd think we'd see more kids out then, don't you?”
5. “We're on a field trip studying human nature's intrusive and assumptive tactics of displaying ignorance and implied superiority. Thanks for the peek!”
4. “On our planet we have different methods of education. (Shhh! No, I didn't give it away... keep your antennae down!)”
3. “Oh my goodness! I thought today was Saturday! Come on kids, hurry!”
2. “Nope! Me 'n Bubba jes' learns 'em at home. Werks reel good!”
And the number 1 answer to the question: "What? No school today?"
1. "What? No Bingo today?"
Feel free to add your own responses to the comment section! Can't wait to see what you come up with!!!
Reducing Stress in 2008
This was sent to me and I really liked it! I edited it a little bit so that it was a little more secular - I mean no disrespect to the people or person who wrote it- I really like it, I just needed to tweak it to allow it to appeal to a broader audience.
Take it in and REALLY THINK ABOUT the suggestions.
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'
1. Pray (to who ever your higher power or guardian angel is)
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others .
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, remeber the serenity prayer and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, remeber the serenity prayer and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a book of poetry with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life. *make sure it is not a meditation tape though....don't need any accidents because you went into a trance while driving.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone. (WITH YOURSELF- no noise, no phone, no television, no computer - being able to be at peace with being with yourself is a very hard thing to learn to do but REALLY is worth it in the end)
23. Having problems? Talk to your angels or higher power on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with spiritual people. - Surround yourself with people who inspire you to be a better you!
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone. (WITH YOURSELF- no noise, no phone, no television, no computer - being able to be at peace with being with yourself is a very hard thing to learn to do but REALLY is worth it in the end)
23. Having problems? Talk to your angels or higher power on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with spiritual people. - Surround yourself with people who inspire you to be a better you!
25. Keep a folder of favorite sayings on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope often can start with a good deep breath.
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.
32. Sit on your ego.
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.
Hope you enjoyed...each day try to incorporate another tip into your lifestyle! In the first week you will see a change and feel like a better person!
Mar 13, 2008
Trying something new! Unit Studies
Things have been running rather smoothly. We are trying something different this week and KM seems to really be enjoying it. We are doing a Unit Study on Charlotte's Web, but doing in a condensed version to fit it into being completed in the one week period.
She told me today that she "likes how the unit studies makes me think more about how the story works." It amazes me the things she comes up with. We were talking today about getting some more unit studies that are focused on one group and working them into our curriculum ever 6 weeks or so to change things up. The CurrClick site listed at the bottom of the screen has a TON of them for really reasonable prices if you are interested.
The Charlotte's Web one is over 200 pages, has tons of activities and is actually free on that site as well. It is a great resource site!
The cool thing to is that since we aren't doing the whole thing now I can use some of the other activities and ideas later and link them back!
I am just sooooo excited that KM is EXCITED about learning again!
She told me today that she "likes how the unit studies makes me think more about how the story works." It amazes me the things she comes up with. We were talking today about getting some more unit studies that are focused on one group and working them into our curriculum ever 6 weeks or so to change things up. The CurrClick site listed at the bottom of the screen has a TON of them for really reasonable prices if you are interested.
The Charlotte's Web one is over 200 pages, has tons of activities and is actually free on that site as well. It is a great resource site!
The cool thing to is that since we aren't doing the whole thing now I can use some of the other activities and ideas later and link them back!
I am just sooooo excited that KM is EXCITED about learning again!
Mar 11, 2008
Great Spoof!
California parents arrested -- Caught Home-schooling their children without a teaching credential
What would we do without a good sense of humor about things!!!
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i31751
What would we do without a good sense of humor about things!!!
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i31751
It's about time!!!
This is a really interesting story and I am really suprised that this it the first time it has come.
http://dailymail.com/Opinion/DavePeyton/200802220157
I dropped out of high school very early in 11th grade for various reasons and got my GED. While I was studying to take the GED I had friends of mine who were still in school or had already graduated helping me and were shocked at how many of the questions they did not know the answers to. (I then went onto college and loved it!, but that is beside the point!)
It kinda goes along those same lines as the book "The Great American Citizenship Quiz." How many people do you know that could actually pass that US Citizenship Test. I don't know for sure that I could.
Just some food for thought.
http://dailymail.com/Opinion/DavePeyton/200802220157
I dropped out of high school very early in 11th grade for various reasons and got my GED. While I was studying to take the GED I had friends of mine who were still in school or had already graduated helping me and were shocked at how many of the questions they did not know the answers to. (I then went onto college and loved it!, but that is beside the point!)
It kinda goes along those same lines as the book "The Great American Citizenship Quiz." How many people do you know that could actually pass that US Citizenship Test. I don't know for sure that I could.
Just some food for thought.
Mar 9, 2008
Something good has been found!
With all the negative nonsense going on after the California rulings I am glad someone came across a positive article!
The Fraser Institute: Home Schooling Improves Academic Performance and Reduces Impact of Socio-Economic Factors
http://www.marketwire.com/mw/release.do?id=777310
The Fraser Institute: Home Schooling Improves Academic Performance and Reduces Impact of Socio-Economic Factors
http://www.marketwire.com/mw/release.do?id=777310
Mar 7, 2008
Between Seasons
I LOVE the winter! I know many of you think that I am INSANE for this, but I truly do!
However, for some reason this year, I am yearning to start my spring cleaning. I don't know if it is because there is just soooo much stuff piling up in spots - don't laugh it feels that way to me! -or because we have had such a great weather week. I had the kids outside on the swings and everything!
I know that if I put all the snow stuff away though we are gonna get hit with a whopper of a storm. That is what always happens! So I think I am gonna start out slowly this weekend by taking down all the snow flakes & penguins and putting up some more bright springy things. I am not going to put the scarves and gloves away yet, but I may start going through the clothes to see what is gonna remain for KM and what has been outgrown over the last few monthes. - FINGERS CROSSED not too much! - so that we can make a donation run at the beginning of next week. That should help with some of these piles and maybe give me a fix to get through before I can do the full blown, winds open, rugs on the back porch, animals banned from the house, furniture moving spring cleaning I feel needs to happen.
However, for some reason this year, I am yearning to start my spring cleaning. I don't know if it is because there is just soooo much stuff piling up in spots - don't laugh it feels that way to me! -or because we have had such a great weather week. I had the kids outside on the swings and everything!
I know that if I put all the snow stuff away though we are gonna get hit with a whopper of a storm. That is what always happens! So I think I am gonna start out slowly this weekend by taking down all the snow flakes & penguins and putting up some more bright springy things. I am not going to put the scarves and gloves away yet, but I may start going through the clothes to see what is gonna remain for KM and what has been outgrown over the last few monthes. - FINGERS CROSSED not too much! - so that we can make a donation run at the beginning of next week. That should help with some of these piles and maybe give me a fix to get through before I can do the full blown, winds open, rugs on the back porch, animals banned from the house, furniture moving spring cleaning I feel needs to happen.
Mar 6, 2008
Socialization : A NON ISSUE
So a mom posted on one of the groups that she was really considering homeschooling, but she was concerned about her child's socialization skills. I HAVE HEARD THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I can't imagine how many people don't homeschool for this reason. Having lived both sides now (granted the latter has only been for a few months) I felt I needed to give a response:
Socialization is always the topic when people learn that I started homeschooling in January. Honestly the children, tweens, & teen homeschooler that I have been privileged enough to meet are MUCH more social than any PSers. My daughter is 10 & in 5th grade and every year she has had a new "BEST" friend, not because her interests have changed or we moved, but because her old "BEST" friend is no longer in her class at school. The socialization that kids learn in school is to not stray from the norm. Do as you are told and DO NOT think outside the box. In order for a really gifted and talented child to thrive in PS they must withstand years of ridicule, peer pressure and bullying because they have ideas that others may think are cool or they just don't understand. They sit in a classroom for 6 or more hours a day and are expected to barely speak to each other, except for the 25 minute recess break, which really how can you get any kind of game or activity really going and be completed in 25 minutes. The homeschoolers that we have met have all been welcoming, accepting, generous, and really interested in learning about each other. Finding common ground to base a friendship on and not just who is sitting next to you for the next 9 months. They also seem to keep that wonderful "kid" essence longer. They are not afraid at 10 years old to admit they still play with dolls or chase after dragons! I really feel like my daughter is getting a better socialization experience as a homeschooler than she ever did in PS.
I hope that you also think about your experience in PS or whatever school you attended and think about the time from all the kids perspectives. You never know what direction yours will choose and honestly the best parents can still end up with a child who makes bad decisions, because of peer pressure or rebellion, but I have never heard of a homeschool child getting in to the trouble that a lot of kids are now at younger and younger ages. Just thought I would add my 2 cents having seen both sides of the coin!
Socialization is always the topic when people learn that I started homeschooling in January. Honestly the children, tweens, & teen homeschooler that I have been privileged enough to meet are MUCH more social than any PSers. My daughter is 10 & in 5th grade and every year she has had a new "BEST" friend, not because her interests have changed or we moved, but because her old "BEST" friend is no longer in her class at school. The socialization that kids learn in school is to not stray from the norm. Do as you are told and DO NOT think outside the box. In order for a really gifted and talented child to thrive in PS they must withstand years of ridicule, peer pressure and bullying because they have ideas that others may think are cool or they just don't understand. They sit in a classroom for 6 or more hours a day and are expected to barely speak to each other, except for the 25 minute recess break, which really how can you get any kind of game or activity really going and be completed in 25 minutes. The homeschoolers that we have met have all been welcoming, accepting, generous, and really interested in learning about each other. Finding common ground to base a friendship on and not just who is sitting next to you for the next 9 months. They also seem to keep that wonderful "kid" essence longer. They are not afraid at 10 years old to admit they still play with dolls or chase after dragons! I really feel like my daughter is getting a better socialization experience as a homeschooler than she ever did in PS.
I hope that you also think about your experience in PS or whatever school you attended and think about the time from all the kids perspectives. You never know what direction yours will choose and honestly the best parents can still end up with a child who makes bad decisions, because of peer pressure or rebellion, but I have never heard of a homeschool child getting in to the trouble that a lot of kids are now at younger and younger ages. Just thought I would add my 2 cents having seen both sides of the coin!
Mar 3, 2008
Update of Happenings
Sorry I have been so quiet for a few days! It has been busy, busy, busy around here. I had SC at the end of last week which still throws me off a bit. Not that it is bad it is just different and she is changing soooo much soooo fast. She started pulling herself up a bit now. She may start cruising at any time now. She is eating EVERYTHING and wants to eat anything someone else is. It really is fun to have a baby around again a few days a week.
I took a Reiki I class on Saturday and it was fantastic! I am sooo glad I finally did it. I learned a tremendous amount and so many things make so much more sense now.
KM started her music class with the co-op group and really liked it. It was a bit of a challenge getting out this morning with SC and all the STUFF, but we made it. KM also had her audition for the solo in the chorus this afternoon, we will hear more about that later in the week.
Other than those few tidbits things are going pretty steady. Getting in the groove and riding the wave.
We are excited about trying our first Unit Study next week using Charlotte's Web. It is a different approach and I figured we would throw it in to the mix and see what happens. If it works out well we may do more of them, there are sooo many online for inexpensive prices that they seem like such a great way to break up some of the monotony.
Hope everyone has a great week!
I took a Reiki I class on Saturday and it was fantastic! I am sooo glad I finally did it. I learned a tremendous amount and so many things make so much more sense now.
KM started her music class with the co-op group and really liked it. It was a bit of a challenge getting out this morning with SC and all the STUFF, but we made it. KM also had her audition for the solo in the chorus this afternoon, we will hear more about that later in the week.
Other than those few tidbits things are going pretty steady. Getting in the groove and riding the wave.
We are excited about trying our first Unit Study next week using Charlotte's Web. It is a different approach and I figured we would throw it in to the mix and see what happens. If it works out well we may do more of them, there are sooo many online for inexpensive prices that they seem like such a great way to break up some of the monotony.
Hope everyone has a great week!
Feb 28, 2008
When did we lose our instincts?
I hope that in typing this I do not sound to cocky or pretentious as that is not my intention at all.
After speaking to my sister this afternoon in regards to SC's pediatrician appointment yesterday, I am baffled a bit. I remember reading books and hearing guidelines on when babies should be doing things, but KM always blew other babies out of the water. She was holding her head up literally the day after she was born, rolled over at 6 weeks, was sitting independently at 4.5 months, was RUNNING at 7 months, and was fully potty trained at 18 months. Not to brag or anything but all of those were early. SC is right on track without a doubt, but the thing that baffles me is how dependent most parents have become on what the doctor or book says their child should be doing. I honestly DO NOT remember being like this. Maybe it is because KM did things early that I never really thought about it from then on out because none of it pertained to her. I just wonder where in our evolution did we lose the natural instincts that we once had. Animals don't live by the book or wait til the vet tells them they can give their young solid foods, they just know. I did lose my instinctual way for a long time, beginning about when KM started preschool and was compared to other children on a daily basis, but I am trying to get back in touch with it now that she is home. When she was breastfeeding I never worried about how much she was getting, I knew that she was healthy because she was growing and thriving. Even when people said she was "skinny" I never questioned myself. I KNEW that she was healthy and for those of you who have seen her dad you know where the skinny comes from.
I really think that as a race we need to go with our gut more. As my favorite yoga instructor always says: "If something doesn't feel right today, don't do it." Why fight with your children to put on socks because the hardwood floor is cold? If they feel cold won't they put them on. Of course I am not saying that I am going to let my child run around outside in freezing weather in a tank top, but I think I am going to really TRY to let go a bit and let her make her own decisions with more things. I am going to choose my battles more wisely and try to ignore some of the bothersome traits that she has, these are the wonderful things that make her unique! I am going to try to provide her with an environment that allows her to trust her instincts and not become oblivious to them!
After speaking to my sister this afternoon in regards to SC's pediatrician appointment yesterday, I am baffled a bit. I remember reading books and hearing guidelines on when babies should be doing things, but KM always blew other babies out of the water. She was holding her head up literally the day after she was born, rolled over at 6 weeks, was sitting independently at 4.5 months, was RUNNING at 7 months, and was fully potty trained at 18 months. Not to brag or anything but all of those were early. SC is right on track without a doubt, but the thing that baffles me is how dependent most parents have become on what the doctor or book says their child should be doing. I honestly DO NOT remember being like this. Maybe it is because KM did things early that I never really thought about it from then on out because none of it pertained to her. I just wonder where in our evolution did we lose the natural instincts that we once had. Animals don't live by the book or wait til the vet tells them they can give their young solid foods, they just know. I did lose my instinctual way for a long time, beginning about when KM started preschool and was compared to other children on a daily basis, but I am trying to get back in touch with it now that she is home. When she was breastfeeding I never worried about how much she was getting, I knew that she was healthy because she was growing and thriving. Even when people said she was "skinny" I never questioned myself. I KNEW that she was healthy and for those of you who have seen her dad you know where the skinny comes from.
I really think that as a race we need to go with our gut more. As my favorite yoga instructor always says: "If something doesn't feel right today, don't do it." Why fight with your children to put on socks because the hardwood floor is cold? If they feel cold won't they put them on. Of course I am not saying that I am going to let my child run around outside in freezing weather in a tank top, but I think I am going to really TRY to let go a bit and let her make her own decisions with more things. I am going to choose my battles more wisely and try to ignore some of the bothersome traits that she has, these are the wonderful things that make her unique! I am going to try to provide her with an environment that allows her to trust her instincts and not become oblivious to them!
Feb 25, 2008
New Milestone!
I think we are catching a groove over here. This new schedule is working really well. I think I am also starting to find the balance in things. There are so many opportunities for learning that do not involve sitting down, writing, doing workbooks, reading text, but actually are invoked by questions. KM has been so much more open to finding out why something is or how it got to be that way, then I ever remember her being before.
She did her first book report on her own this weekend and for the first one did an excellent job! I also had the teacher "punch out" on Friday. I just simply said you read this book this week and I would like you to use the outline that we used last week to do a book report on your own over the weekend. I did not mention it at all. Saturday I did not see anything going on and I said well we will see tomorrow. I woke up Sunday morning, a bit late, to find my daughter sitting at her table in the playroom doing the outline. I nearly fell over! She has never just done school work. She likes it and has always been eager to learn when it is hands on, but for her to actually pick the sheet up and put a pencil to it, on her own is HUGE!!! She then finished the outline and asked if she could have a play date. I said sure, in the back of my mind wondering when is she thinking she is going to finish this, but said nothing about the actual writing of the report. She went and had a great time sledding at her friends house all afternoon. She came home, got cuddly in pajamas after being cold all day, had dinner and then went into her playroom. I assumed she would be on the computer playing games as I had heard her turn it on. Of course we know what assuming makes... I went in to check on her and there she was typing away.
Her book report was not perfect, but for the first one she has ever done on her own it really was exceptional. Just the fact that she completed it without being reminded 900 times is incredible to me!
Everyday something new happens that reaffirms my decision. Spending the one on one time in areas that she really needs is leading to a more independent learner in the areas that she can be. I am sooooo HAPPY we are homeschooling, for her and our family!
Hope everyone has a great day and has a chance to appreciate a choice that has been in your life!
She did her first book report on her own this weekend and for the first one did an excellent job! I also had the teacher "punch out" on Friday. I just simply said you read this book this week and I would like you to use the outline that we used last week to do a book report on your own over the weekend. I did not mention it at all. Saturday I did not see anything going on and I said well we will see tomorrow. I woke up Sunday morning, a bit late, to find my daughter sitting at her table in the playroom doing the outline. I nearly fell over! She has never just done school work. She likes it and has always been eager to learn when it is hands on, but for her to actually pick the sheet up and put a pencil to it, on her own is HUGE!!! She then finished the outline and asked if she could have a play date. I said sure, in the back of my mind wondering when is she thinking she is going to finish this, but said nothing about the actual writing of the report. She went and had a great time sledding at her friends house all afternoon. She came home, got cuddly in pajamas after being cold all day, had dinner and then went into her playroom. I assumed she would be on the computer playing games as I had heard her turn it on. Of course we know what assuming makes... I went in to check on her and there she was typing away.
Her book report was not perfect, but for the first one she has ever done on her own it really was exceptional. Just the fact that she completed it without being reminded 900 times is incredible to me!
Everyday something new happens that reaffirms my decision. Spending the one on one time in areas that she really needs is leading to a more independent learner in the areas that she can be. I am sooooo HAPPY we are homeschooling, for her and our family!
Hope everyone has a great day and has a chance to appreciate a choice that has been in your life!
Feb 22, 2008
snow covered everything
I know that most of you will think I am a bit crazy, but I absolutely love waking up to see everything snow covered!
I really do. There is something about winter that just makes me feel cozy! I couldn't imagine living somewhere without all four seasons. I don't like the cold when it is just cold for no reason, but when it is cold because the beautiful snow is falling, I really don't mind it at all.
Hope everyone has a great day, stay warm and get ready for the FOOT of snow we will be getting!
Feb 21, 2008
Interesting Article on Homeschooling
I got an email with this article attached. Unsure as too where it originated from other thatn the author. I have been trying to find out and authenticate but have not been successful yet, but it brings up some really good points. If I find out more about it I will post it.
Gordon Neufeld – Thoughts on Homeschooled
The prevailing assumption is that the greatest drawback to homeschooling is the loss of social interaction with peers. Times have changed however, making peer interaction more of a problem than an asset. Instead or peer interaction facilitating the process of socialization, it is now more likely to lead to the premature replacement of adults by peers in the life of a child. Such children become peer-oriented rather than adult-oriented and are more difficult to parent and teach. Furthermore, peer-oriented children fail to mature psychologically and their integration into adult society is compromised.Because of escalating peer orientation it is now the school that has become risky business. What was once the most powerful argument against homeschooling is now its most persuasive defense. Contrary to prevailing concerns, homeschooled children are showing evidence of being more mature psychologically, more socially adept, and more academically prepared for university. They have become the favored applicants of a number of major universities. If current trends in society continue, homeschooling may very well become a necessary antidote to escalating peer orientation. We may need to reclaim our children not only to preserve or recover the context in which to teach and parent them, but also for the sake of society at large and the transmission of culture.The developmental needs of children were never paramount in the arguments that led to the inception of compulsory education. Indeed, there was little that was even understood or known about child development at that time. It should not be surprising therefore to find that developmental science does not support school as the best context for children to learn, to mature, or to become socialized. Although the school has become a central institution in our society, it is not without risks to emotional health and development.There are a number of sound arguments that make homeschooling a child's best bet. The cultivation and preservation of the child-parent attachment is at the fore of these arguments. The attachment patterns of children are shifting, largely due to the loss of culture and the institutionalizatio n of education. This is sabotaging the context necessary for healthy development as well as eroding the natural power required for parents to do their job. Attachment is also the primary context and motivation for learning. When children are more attached to their peers than their parents and their teachers then peers become their true teachers. Attachment is also the primary mechanism of cultural transmission. We cannot inculcate our children with our values and beliefs if we are not the ones they get their bearings from or take their cues from.Another strong argument for homeschooling is the emotional health of the child. Developmental science is now putting emotion at the core of learning and behavior, including the development of the brain and the mind. Children need to have soft hearts, capable of being easily touched and moved by that which should affect them. When children are not in right relationship with their parents or are prematurely subjected to the wounding ways of peer interaction, the resulting flight from vulnerability desensitizes them. They lose their feelings, at least the more vulnerable ones. Homeschoolers, because of their strong relationships to those responsible for them are much more likely to have soft hearts and therefore much more likely to realize their full potential as human beings. Research bears this out.Yet another case for homeschooling is the individuation argument. The primary purpose of development is for children to become their own persons capable of functioning apart from attachments, knowing their own minds and having their own goals. It is no secret that unsupervised peer interaction crushes individuality and undermines the emergence of true selfhood. As Jean Jacque Rousseau said over 200 years ago, individuation is not only the prerequisite to true community but requires a long gestation time in the context of loving relationship with a parent. Personhood must be homegrown. The womb of individuation is warm and caring attachments to loving parents. If we desire our children to realize their true potential as human beings, we must hold on to them until they can hold on to themselves.
Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. is a highly respected Vancouver-based clinical psychologist with over 30 years of experience with children and those responsible for them. A foremost authority on child development, he is an international speaker, a bestselling author (Hold On To Your Kids), and aleading interpreter of the developmental paradigm.
Gordon Neufeld – Thoughts on Homeschooled
The prevailing assumption is that the greatest drawback to homeschooling is the loss of social interaction with peers. Times have changed however, making peer interaction more of a problem than an asset. Instead or peer interaction facilitating the process of socialization, it is now more likely to lead to the premature replacement of adults by peers in the life of a child. Such children become peer-oriented rather than adult-oriented and are more difficult to parent and teach. Furthermore, peer-oriented children fail to mature psychologically and their integration into adult society is compromised.Because of escalating peer orientation it is now the school that has become risky business. What was once the most powerful argument against homeschooling is now its most persuasive defense. Contrary to prevailing concerns, homeschooled children are showing evidence of being more mature psychologically, more socially adept, and more academically prepared for university. They have become the favored applicants of a number of major universities. If current trends in society continue, homeschooling may very well become a necessary antidote to escalating peer orientation. We may need to reclaim our children not only to preserve or recover the context in which to teach and parent them, but also for the sake of society at large and the transmission of culture.The developmental needs of children were never paramount in the arguments that led to the inception of compulsory education. Indeed, there was little that was even understood or known about child development at that time. It should not be surprising therefore to find that developmental science does not support school as the best context for children to learn, to mature, or to become socialized. Although the school has become a central institution in our society, it is not without risks to emotional health and development.There are a number of sound arguments that make homeschooling a child's best bet. The cultivation and preservation of the child-parent attachment is at the fore of these arguments. The attachment patterns of children are shifting, largely due to the loss of culture and the institutionalizatio n of education. This is sabotaging the context necessary for healthy development as well as eroding the natural power required for parents to do their job. Attachment is also the primary context and motivation for learning. When children are more attached to their peers than their parents and their teachers then peers become their true teachers. Attachment is also the primary mechanism of cultural transmission. We cannot inculcate our children with our values and beliefs if we are not the ones they get their bearings from or take their cues from.Another strong argument for homeschooling is the emotional health of the child. Developmental science is now putting emotion at the core of learning and behavior, including the development of the brain and the mind. Children need to have soft hearts, capable of being easily touched and moved by that which should affect them. When children are not in right relationship with their parents or are prematurely subjected to the wounding ways of peer interaction, the resulting flight from vulnerability desensitizes them. They lose their feelings, at least the more vulnerable ones. Homeschoolers, because of their strong relationships to those responsible for them are much more likely to have soft hearts and therefore much more likely to realize their full potential as human beings. Research bears this out.Yet another case for homeschooling is the individuation argument. The primary purpose of development is for children to become their own persons capable of functioning apart from attachments, knowing their own minds and having their own goals. It is no secret that unsupervised peer interaction crushes individuality and undermines the emergence of true selfhood. As Jean Jacque Rousseau said over 200 years ago, individuation is not only the prerequisite to true community but requires a long gestation time in the context of loving relationship with a parent. Personhood must be homegrown. The womb of individuation is warm and caring attachments to loving parents. If we desire our children to realize their true potential as human beings, we must hold on to them until they can hold on to themselves.
Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. is a highly respected Vancouver-based clinical psychologist with over 30 years of experience with children and those responsible for them. A foremost authority on child development, he is an international speaker, a bestselling author (Hold On To Your Kids), and aleading interpreter of the developmental paradigm.
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